THE STORY:

My local grocery store, Sunday 11am

Have you ever talked to someone and agonized over what you said - replaying the moments over and over again to imagine it from their perspective? Or, have you ever felt rejected by someone, or instantly felt like they didn’t like you? How about this-

Have you ever met someone and instantly didn’t like them? Can’t put a finger on it, can’t quite place why?

Well turns out there is a REASON for this, and it’s not all that different from something you do every summer at the grocery store which is:

Trying to pick one of those perfect watermelons at the grocery store. I’m talking those sweet, juicy, crisp ones…. the remind you of your will to survive ones…

Hang with me here:

You might have heard some tips such as pick a melon that feels heavy or has a yellow spot on one end.

But most of the time, let’s be so for real… WE’RE ALL JUST PICKING A RANDOM MELON!

I do the thing where I pick up and smack the melon, only to realize I don’t know what it was supposed to feel or sound like anyways.

So once I’ve arbitrarily assaulted the first melon, I pick up a second and do the same because surely I can’t just get the first one I saw.

But then I put it back down and remember that I don’t know what I’m looking for and the cycle repeats until I just go back to the first one I got and say a little prayer that this one will be that elusive perfect melon.

I bring this up because I learned about something the other day that totally describes both scenarios with a phenomenon that will guaranteed:

• Stop you from agonizing over people that don’t like you, even when you know you shouldn’t care so much anyways

• Stop the replaying of moments in your head, wondering if it was something you did

• Get you better watermelons, periodtttt!!!

and that is:

THE 10-80-10 FRAMEWORK

For every 100% of people you meet:

• 10% of people will LOVE you - no matter what. They’re going to vibe with everything about you, you will naturally and effortlessly click with someone without trying. These are your ever elusive PERFECT watermelons. In the healthcare setting, these are people that will rave about you - they’ll go out of their way to leave a review about you.

• 80% of people will really like you. But this is less unconditional, it’s more like whenever you do something good they’ll acknowledge it, but they can be persuaded to feel the opposite about you too. They won’t go out of their way to praise you but if they’re emailed a survey or asked about you, they’ll still give good feedback. These are your normal, most of the time, pretty good watermelons.

• 10% of people will hate you. No matter what you do. On a chemical, physical level, from one human to another, it doesn’t matter what you do they were never going to like you. This is your once in a while, bad, rotten, tasteless melon.

Now you might be thinking, gee thanks Connie for that information now I know at least 1 out of every 10 people hates me for no good reason. Thanks a lot.

Here’s the thing: I felt excited when I found this fact out. Wanna know why?

As a people pleaser myself, it’s so easy to take someone not being receptive to me as a personal thing. But with this 10-80-10 framework, it feels like a hall pass because I can say, “well they might have just been that 1 out of every 10 where it was never going to work”. (*this law does not include the following: serial killers & people that honk at you the second the light turns green. More than 10% of people will hate you)

Now I know, I KNOW. You’re not supposed to care what others think, it doesn’t mean anything yada yada yada - well you know that too!! But how has just knowing that been working for us so far lol?! Instead, this gives you something that’s actually tangible to keep in mind, something you can tell yourself to make it less personal (one of the 4 rules to crushing your day that I shared from last week!)

One last thing I want to leave you with: this framework can also be used with other scenarios - it can help you optimize the skills you’re naturally good at and basically super boost how quickly you achieve your goals (check out this week’s 15 min podcast episode to hear how to do that!)

But another way: when leading a group you have your:

• 10% that are high achievers, motivated, and move the company forward

• 80% that will inherently try, but are easily swayed by the upper or lower groups

• 10% that hold the group back, are actively negative, and defiant

Most leaders devote all their time and attention on fixing the bottom 10% because they are the loudest problems to fix. But think about how wildly inefficient this is? To focus all your energy on 10% of the picture, when in reality you could be focusing on nurturing the 90% that will work in your favor?

In healthcare, it goes the same. You will meet patients that are your raving fans, you will meet the ones that really listen to what you have to say and over time allow a beautiful bond to form. Don’t sweat that one bad review, or the one patient that isn’t returning the respect and kindness.

Be the leader of your own life, spend your energy wisely.

And now, onto the last segment of this newsletter: your BUZZY BITES, the pop culture news stories of the week to make small talk with - so you can talk to anyone about anything. For more in depth breakdown of these stories, check out this week’s podcast episode here!

BUZZY BITES:

1. Taylor Swift has the nation gagged: bringing out football star boyfriend, Travis Kelce on stage for her London stop of the Eras Tour during “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart” - and snaps a wild selfie with the royal family here

   

   Source: Entertainment Weekly

1. IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY FREAK: Freaky Friday 2 has officially begun filming! Check out which stars from the original film are returning, and who’s doing the body switching here

   

   Source: People Magazine

2. That ancient Jungle Juice goes craaaazy: Researchers have found the world’s oldest wine! A 2000 year old jug found from an ancient tombstone in Spain, this white wine had a tbh kinda gross and surprising ingredient swimming in the wine - find out what it was here

Message me if this post resonated with you! That’s all for this week’s newsletter, tune into next week’s for more fun! Reply if you are dental, pharmacy, medical or anything else! Would love to hear from you!!

Thanks for reading - if you liked what you read please share this with a friend! The more Pinchers (what I call ya’ll) the better. See you next week,

xoxo, Connie