THE STORY:

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My car in the work parking lot, 12:30pm May 2024

You know what I really hate to admit?

That all the classic advice you hear is actually kind of true.

Get 8 hours of sleep. Drink more water. Don’t decide to get bangs at midnight NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE GIRL ON TIK TOK MADE HERS LOOK they’re going to be more work to maintain than you think I know, I know.

Along the same lines, I was in my car doing my bi-weekly therapy session and sharing how my day became one of “those” days - where a million little things were adding up and draining me. It felt like playing whack- a- mole facing one thing after another (and no, mercury wasn’t even in retrograde!!!). Then my therapist dropped some major advice that I haven’t been able to stop:

• thinking about

• applying to every scenario in life

• and unfortunately ugh, seeing the positive results from.

I say unfortunately because it’s so simple I feel like this can’t possibly just be it. To be completely honest, I tried SO HARD to not make a post about this because I felt like it would be too boring or “duh” for you all to read - but here I am, making a post about this. Why????

Because this stuff seriously works. Every SINGLE line resonated with me, every SINGLE problem I had was addressed by one of these four things - and I know you need to read this right now because every day I need this reminder.

So what was it that my therapist said to cause such an impact?

she said, “Connie - have you heard of the 4 Agreements?” - NOW HOLD ON BEFORE YOU CLICK OUT IF YOU ALREADY KNOW THESE 4 AGREEMENTS, today will add a twist to each of the 4.

The 4 Agreements is like, one of the most famous self help bibles of the world. It’s a book about 4 rules to life from ancient Tolteric wisdom, and it’s just as relevant in modern day 2024 as EVER.

What happened when I started to follow these 4 rules daily?

I felt happier, more supported at work. I made less errors. I drove in more excited for the day to come and left feeling fulfilled with how the day went.

This can start TODAY for you - right now as you’re reading this.

I spent time reflecting on practical ways to implement these 4 laws in real life at work, and so I’ve translated them into a relatable guide for YOU - the modern young woman in healthcare (and my dad reading this at home. Hi dad)

So enough fluff let’s just get into it - these are the 4 Agreements, Modern Healthcare Girlie Edition:

1. Don’t Make Assumptions: aka, what questions are we not asking?

There are so many times I’ve gotten myself into sticky situations because I assumed something, like:

• assuming I know what the patient wants for treatment

• assuming someone else is right just because they seem more confident

• assuming someone knows to do something a certain way

Here is the modern healthcare girlie’s adaptation to this rule (disclaimer I haven’t read the book so this could totally also be in there and I didn’t know):

We are all susceptible to assuming things, especially as beginners of anything - I don’t fault you for that. But what matters is that we are aware of this tendency and remember to stop ourselves, not acting on assumptions alone. So before you ACT, have check points in place to stop yourself before proceeding. Often times the more blindly sure you feel about something, the more important it is to slow down and assess. And most of the time, problems can be solved by simply asking better questions.

For example: as I’m drafting up treatment plans, I try to check myself and ask: does the patient actually want this - or:

• are we missing a vital piece of info in this conversation that would change their decision?

• did they not ask a certain question that maybe, they simply didn’t know to ask?

As a new doc, it’s really easy to try to think of cases as flow charts, because that’s how we learned in school - “if this, then that, treatment A or B”.

But real life doesn’t work that way, and so the more checks to help you evaluate the nuances in every case - the better.

Outcome: This has helped me become a much more flexible and strategic treatment planner. And ultimately have more educational conversations.

2. Don’t Take Things Personally

Take a shot if even reading that felt personal lol. It is so normal and human to feel triggered by things - we all have that one thing that hits us a certain way. But I have found it to be USEFUL when I feel myself taking something personally, because it allows me to stop and ask myself 2 things:

1. “Is there any truth to this?” - or something I can learn about myself? There has to be a reason why I feel affected by this. This could be an opportunity for me to work through and break a cycle of undesirable reactions.

2. MOST IMPORTANTLY IF YOU TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM TODAY: “Is there any scenario where taking this personally is beneficial for myself, the other person, or anyone?” - I’mma tell you right now the answer will be no. It has been 100% no so far, which is why the rule is “Don’t take things personally” not “Don’t take things personally UNLESS IT REALLY SHOULD BE”.

Something about putting a scenario into context like that, and thinking “if I act on this emotion, who could possibly benefit from this” is really helpful because it allows you to look objectively at something - and identify where emotion is not needed. Easier said than done for sure, but when you stop to check yourself, you’ll realize nothing’s really worth losing your peace or progress.

Outcome: I’ve felt a lot more at peace, and I hope this can help me be a better team player. Alternatively I’ve also felt more supported at work, it allows me to look past little things to achieve greater things together.

3. Be Impeccable With Your Words

This is basically saying “if you don’t have something nice to say - ZIP IT” - but I took this a step further. For me with a patient communication perspective - every single word I say during an appointment is valuable real estate. I try to be mindful of - ok if it’s coming out of my mouth is it:

• helping them understand something they need to know?

• helping us get to know one another

• providing comfort or benefit to the current situation?

And if it’s not one of those things - can it wait till another moment, or be omitted all together? I guess what I’m trying to say is,

WE REALLY SHOULD ALL JUST TALK LESS LOL, and learn how to use discretion when we speak

This is just a good reminder that not all things that are thought need to be said.

Outcome: Faster and more efficient at work, curating a healthy, open & positive environment for patients

4. Always Do Your Best

This one is self explanatory, but also nuanced. Being a new grad really got you questioning yourself and life some days haha (most days). And being in healthcare, seeing the impacts of treatment, cost, decision making, suffering - all of this adds up to sometimes wondering did I make the right decision? what makes a decision the right one from wrong?

And so I keep it simple - I just ask myself “did I do the best I could with what I knew in the moment”

If yes, then everything is simply a lesson to learn from. And I just try to never let that answer be no. To do so, I think about this preemptively before acting, I’m always like “how am I going to feel about this decision tonight when I go to sleep?”

To me, a self proclaimed nap queen, no amount of anything is worth losing sleep over.

NEXT VISIT: it’s your turn to try

Here’s an overview of how to practice these 4 Agreements in your day to day: Ask yourself:

1. “Did all the right questions get addressed?”, “Where did these decisions come from, are any from an unknown source? (an assumption)”

2. “Is there some truth to this thing that feels personal?”, “Would acting on this help anyone?”

3. “Is what I’m about to say going to help them understand the situation or one another? Is this going to create a positive environment?”

4. “Did I do the best I could with what I knew?”

These all sound simple, sure. But the more you stop and apply these 4 checks, the more you’ll realize opportunities to grow and become a better communicator at work.

And now, onto the last segment of this newsletter: your BUZZY BITES, the pop culture news stories of the week to make small talk with - so you can talk to anyone about anything. For more in depth breakdown of these stories, check out this week’s podcast episode here!

BUZZY BITES:

1. Wine lovers beware: America’s wine supply is under threat as an invasive insect breed is harming vineyards. Learn more about the pesky, wine drunk insects here

   

   Source: New York Post

2. Grandma Got Sprinkles 2.0: Senior citizens in nursing homes are getting robotic pets with heartbeats, warmth, and reactivity to sound and touch to combat loneliness! Loneliness was declared as a public health crisis in 2023 by the Surgeon General, and the impact of being socially disconnected is similar to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Find out how effective these robotic furry friends are here 

   

   Source: People Magazine

3. I swear this isn’t a Jake Paul fan page: Jake Paul is launching a new skin care line to target demographic of young men - a group of people increasingly vocal about their self care routines. Read article here to see if you’ll be gifting these to your boyfriends, husbands, or situationships any time soon.

Message me if this post resonated with you! That’s all for this week’s newsletter, tune into next week’s for more fun! Reply if you are dental, pharmacy, medical or anything else! Would love to hear from you!!

Thanks for reading - if you liked what you read please share this with a friend! See you next week,

xoxo, Connie