THE STORY:

My parent’s kitchen island, 4pm July 2014

The year was 2014. Everyone was doing the viral ice bucket challenge on Facebook. Yes Facebook was still the primary social media page back then… 

I had just turned 19 and spent almost every day for the last month crying.

I took a deep breath and walked downstairs to the sound of my mother chopping away at tonight’s dinner - in that moment I would have rather been the onion on the cutting board.

Because I was downstairs to tell her I had been failing my summer organic chemistry 1 course, and was on the brink of having to retake the class. 

Now before you roll your eyes over how small this seems, I know in hindsight this was SOOOOO insignificant in the journey to getting where I am. But at the time I felt like it was the end of the world (I mean it really could have been for me, my mom was holding a really big knife) 

So why am I bringing this up now, this silly little memory? 

This week marks exactly 10 years since that horrible day/week/summer. This week I turned 29, and as I type this I look around in awe at what that 19 year old failing test after test has created. (Figuratively, bc right now I’m actually laying in the dark typing this fresh out of a shower, damp in my robe. That hasn’t really changed since 2014).

When I look back on that time in my life, it brings up feelings that I know you have felt too.

You’ve had moments of wondering: “is all this suffering and hard work even going to be worth it?” “Am I cut out for this?” “Am I making the wrong decision?” 

These are the very same questions I would ask myself 2 years later as I was deciding if I should stay in pharmacy school and pursue dentistry after. 

As you might be on the brink of making your own big decisions, feeling discouraged or lost in your own unique ways, the thing I want you to take away from this situation is that the biggest determinant of our success is not in what we DO 

But the questions we ask ourselves in the process. Asking better questions in any field of life will yield better results.

And so I wanted to share 2 big takeaways from the last 10 years of crashing and burning, and laying around in a wet robe post shower, to help you navigate your own periods of crashing burning and everything in between too.

TAKEAWAY #1:

When making a big decision, or throwing yourself into a path that feels uncertain and overwhelming:

it’s not your job to FIXATE on if something is worth it or not, because worth is something that can only be assigned after the fact, looking back at an experience. 

If you asked me in 2014, it really didn’t feel worth it. I wish I could tell you after organic chemistry 1 that I had a heroic comeback and crushed organic chemistry 2, but I didn’t. Life isn’t a Disney movie, I barely passed that class too, and walked away that summer with newfound crippling self doubt that sometimes still gets me to this day. 

But the thing is, if you ask me today - a dentist that loves her job and feels so fulfilled with where she is today, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

So worth is a funny thing like that. Only measured in time and not a moment sooner. So then why are we making decisions based off of something so elusive and far away? We as a culture are so obsessed with getting a quick return on investment, to our detriment.

Since you have no idea how much future you will change, and you won’t get your answer about if something is worth it today - spend your energy wisely on these questions instead:

• When I look back on this phase of life, what is the story I want to be able to tell about this phase?

• Was it serving a greater purpose, or a catalyst for whats coming next?

• What can I gain from this current situation today to be able to tell that story? Is there a lesson to be learned, a skill to gain, a helpful person to meet?

• What are the traits I want to have, and how do I embody these in little ways today?

Only you can make something worth it for yourself by what you take away from the present.

TAKEAWAY #2:

The moment where you wonder “is this even worth it?” is when you actually have the most to gain, because those are the foundational moments where what’s coming next is more than you could ever even fathom.

Because clearly, for you to wonder if it’s worth it shows you have no idea what beautiful things will come. 

We often:

• Overestimate how much we have changed from the past

• Underestimate how much we will change in the future

  Therefore it’s very easy to be short sighted and give up on yourself, simply because you can’t even fathom how much more you can grow and build.

So a better question to ask:

• If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I want to happen? What steps would I take next?

Life is crazy. I’m just in awe that 10 years ago, almost to the day, that crying 19 year old girl could create the life I live today. 

And I know you’re not so different from me. So even though you might be going through your period of feeling lost, incapable, and discouraged, I want you to take a look back at where you were 10 years ago, and give yourself a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come, what you’ve overcome, and the person you’ve become.

And just give yourself the space to ask yourself some of these questions - in the next 10 years you can overcome so much more than you ever expected. 

NEXT VISIT: it’s your turn to try

I think an unspoken skill here is being able to stop in the middle of a distressing situation and have the clarity of mind to not spiral and worry. There’s something I learned about, it’s called an “emotional home”. It’s the natural emotional state we default to when we don’t know how to react: for many people it’s anger, or anxiety, or guilt. If your emotional home tends to be worrying and anxiety, the biggest thing you can do is recognize the moments where you are allowing your anxiety to take over and instead take back control. These questions are intended to help you do just that! So with your current situation in mind, take out a pen and paper and answer the following questions:

1. When I look back on this phase of life, what is the story I would want to be able to tell about this phase? What are things I can learn, gain, take away from my current task at hand today to tell that story?

2. What are 3 traits I want to have today, and what ways can I embody them? (ex. I want to be someone that is disciplined - to embody this I will show up punctual/early for all of my meetings or events today)

3. If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I want to happen? What steps would I take next?

And now, onto the last segment of this newsletter: your BUZZY BITES, the pop culture news stories of the week to make small talk with - so you can talk to anyone about anything. For more in depth breakdown of these stories, check out this week’s podcast episode here!

BUZZY BITES:

1. Not All Heros Wear Capes: Flavor Flav attempts to save his favorite restaurant, Red Lobster from bankruptcy. First by ordering every item on the entire menu (it didn’t work) - and now with his own combo called “Flavor Flav’s Faves”. Find out which items are in the Flavor Flav combo here!

   

   Source: People Magazine

2. Not All Hero’s Wear Capes AGAIN!: Paris Hilton speaks at Capitol Hill to advocate for child welfare reform. Speaking from her own experience at a traumatic youth rehabilitation facility, she calls on lawmakers to have better safeguards in place to make sure children in the foster system are properly followed, supported, and cared for. Read more here!

   

   Source: People Magazine

3. Maybe He’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Pekingese: The 2024 World’s Ugliest Dog has been named! Wild Thang, an 8 year old Pekingese has won after 5 (FIVE) years of trying!!!! Fifth time is the charm, he was diagnosed with a virus that prevented his teeth from growing in, causing his tongue to be permanently extended to the side and a paw to constantly be paddling. Read more about this stunning king here!

   

   Source: People Magazine

Message me if this post resonated with you! That’s all for this week’s newsletter, tune into next week’s for more fun! Reply if you are dental, pharmacy, medical or anything else! Would love to hear from you!!

Thanks for reading - if you liked what you read please share this with a friend! See you next week,

xoxo, Connie