Have you ever had a really stressful moment where you felt upset, but kept it all together until someone was NICE to you and THAT’S what triggered you to start crying or break down? 

Turns out this is a normal phenomena, and it’s actually the core principle behind one of the HARDEST parts of our jobs as providers - how to really reach someone when they don’t want to hear what you have to say.

You’ve probably felt this way when recommending treatment to a patient that desperately needs it but doesn’t seem to care, or when asking your parent or partner to do something you’ve asked them a thousand times. 

You’ve heard this before. The “I feel fine, I’ll treat it when it bothers me”

I started reading this incredible book called Just Listen - Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by this awesome psychiatrist and former FBI negotiation trainer named Mark Goulston.

One of the fascinating things this book taught me about is something called the persuasion cycle - this is something that is IMPERATIVE for you to know if your job involves recommending treatments to patients. Or if you want your spouse to do the dishes and take out the trash when you ask lol.

Phase 1: is the resistant to doing phase. This is where most people are, and as providers our goal is to get people from this phase to the last “Glad They Did” phase. So how do we do this?

It’s simple. We just need to get to Phase 2, the “Listening” phase. The only problem is… THAT’S THE HARDEST PART.

As healthcare providers we mistakenly think that the key to going from phase 1 to 2 is more information: more photos, more evidence, and it’s not.

It’s actually about getting the patient to emotionally connect with their problems.

Think about it: all decisions to do (or not do something) are rooted in emotions like anger, fear, or frustrations.

And the problem is if you don’t understand that, then you are hostage to their anger, fear, and frustrations.

And we all know what it’s like being hostage to someone else’s emotions - this is that feeling of no matter how many times I ask my spouse to do the dishes, they won’t and I’m stuck doing it. No matter how many times I tell someone they need a treatment, their fear of it stops them and is holding me hostage from helping.

The problem is that we come in hot with all of our information ready to educate, when the patient just want’s to have their emotions acknowledged.

And you know what doesn’t help your emotions feel acknowledged? Having x rays, information, and recommendations shoved in your face lol.

Effectively what we are doing when we rush into solutions or doctor mode, is we end the conversation before it even starts - because if they’re not feeling heard, they sure as hell aren’t going to hear us back.

So our job is not to explain explain explain - its not about what we say or what we tell others:

but it’s about what we get THEM to tell US

so that we can understand and help.

It’s really about LISTENING, and something called helping them feel felt.

And how do we do that? It’s something called MIRRORING. And proof that this works goes back to the original scenario I mentioned earlier where you cry when you’re stressed and someone shows you kindness and care.

Mirroring is pretty simple and has an easy formula to follow… but it’s more than what I originally thought, which was that it was just matching patient’s tone, asking questions to learn more, and repeating back to them.

To learn the formula of how to mirror your patient and help them feel felt, and END the cycle of not listening to each other so that you can START working together - check out this week’s podcast episode here! We also share more about moving through that persuasion cycle, and how to ultimately get through to anyone about anything.

And now, onto the last segment of this newsletter: your BUZZY BITES, the pop culture news stories of the week to make small talk with - so you can talk to anyone about anything.

BUZZY BITES:

1. Chick-fil-A opens it’s first of it’s kind eating experience! The fast food chain this week launched a new way to expedite service - a drive through only concept that relies on conveyor belts! This new concept will allow 4 lanes of service at once, full details in the article here

   

   Source: People Magazine

2. Host of the 2025 Golden Globes announced! This just in, comedian Nikki Glaser is set to be the host of the 2025 Golden Globes. The newest host has been highly anticipated due to last year’s memorable performance by comedian Jo Koy, who was last second chosen for the position, and was criticized for blaming his writers after jokes did not land with the audience. Nikki Glaser received online love for her performance at Tom Brady’s Roast this past winter, so needless to say we are all excited - full details here!

   

   Source: CBS

3. Extreme Makeover, DORM edition: There’s a new trend that’s been quietly taking over college move ins year after year, and that is decked out, $2,000-$5,000 glam dorm room makeovers! Specifically Southern dorm design culture has become it’s own niche, as mother Tamara Wingerter created the Facebook group called “Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond” - which now has over 70k members that post their tips and tricks for dorm makeover inspo. Full article here!

   

   Source: People

Message me if this post resonated with you! That’s all for this week’s newsletter, tune into next week’s for more fun! Reply if you are dental, pharmacy, medical or anything else! Would love to hear from you!!

Thanks for reading - if you liked what you read please share this with a friend! See you next week,

xoxo, Connie