THE STORY:

Have you ever felt like you were going to lose your shit at work and wanted to spiral/scream, but had to keep it tightly contained lol?

Or ever feel guilty because you let a little out and didn’t keep it as contained as you would have liked lol?

It’s ok. We’ve all been there. There’s nothing wrong with you (or if there is, there’s something wrong with me too then).

One of the hardest things I’ve had to work on since becoming a dentist isn’t the procedures I’m doing, not the waking up every day and going to work part either (surprisingly).

It’s the emotional regulation. The learning how to soothe yourself when you feel upset or frustrated.

Because at the end of the day in healthcare, we’re just people trying to help people. And people come in distressed, triggered, upset - which in turn can make us feel distressed, triggered, and upset as well.

Here’s the thing - you know that quote, “hurt people hurt people”? I believe it works the other way around too. Happy, regulated and healed people HEAL people.

So the next time you feel like you’re about to explode or want to poop your pants or want to run away and cry, I have a few tricks for you to try - because student loans are expensive and we can’t run away and cry justtttt yettttt.

For when you want to smash something/feel angry/frustrated

2 of the most common reasons I feel frustrated during procedures at work are when I feel like factors out of my control are affecting my work, and feeling overwhelmed.

Because of that, these are some things that have immensely helped when I wanted to spiral:

• First I stop and take a breath - and re-prioritize what I can control. Ok gums are bleeding, patient becoming fidgety, hygienist needs a check up, patient waiting on hold - what is my first priority?

  • one of my favorite techniques is called Box Breathing: inhale x 4 seconds, hold x 4 seconds, exhale x 4 seconds, hold x 4 seconds (instant mood recalibration!)

• I spend most of my day with my assistants, I literally couldn’t survive without them. One thing that really soothes me is when I ask if they can help me with a simple task - etc. passing the cotton roll, helping with retraction, etc.

  • Why? When they say “sure” and help, it instantlyreminds me that I am not alone. No need to feel overwhelmed, I’m on a team. Showing support for one another is important, but I also think its important to FIND where you are already being supported as proof

• Humming to music - I make sure my room is constantly playing upbeat music (either I’ll do a patient requested artist or my own playlist)

  • In moments of stress when I want to break something, doing the counterintuitive and singing along with my assistants instantly brings up my mood

  • There is research on why all different types of religion have some form of singing! Humans stimulate the vagus nerve (crucial for regulating yourself in times of stress) when they sing/hum and especially when they do so together.

For when you want to cry

Here’s the thing, crying can be therapeutic, it can be a release of emotions - I’m all for a good cry. But one thing that hit me hard was this quote -

“if you complain to 3 people or more about a problem, you’re not looking for a solution you’re looking for attention”

While it can seem a little ouch - I do think there is some truth to this. At a young age we learn “if I cry, this problem will go away” or “if I cry, someone will help me feel better”. As an adult that can’t just cry every time I want to (and trust me, I want to) what’s helped is turning inwards and asking - how can I give myself that attention I need? A few things that help:

• Placing my hand over my chest: it’s a quick and easy reminder to myself that I am going to be ok - I got this

• The key is slowlygoing from a place of upset to back to normal, slow meaning: taking sips of water, typing notes, walking around the building and getting some steps in - it’s less of a shock to the system than just trying to chug along.

Having someone to vent to is fantastic and so important. But the point of today’s post is for me to show little ways you can count on YOURSELF to regulate, and trust me you can do it!

For when you want to poop your pants/run away

Enter: THE SUPERMAN POSE! One of my favorite tricks of all time, this has gotten me through stressful board exams, scary first days, and more!

The Superman Pose will instantly boost your confidence and help you feel prepared for a challenge you’re about to take on. I like to do this in a room or bathroom before going in, simply:

• stand up as tall as you can, chest puffed out

• extend your arms behind you almost like a cape

• alt: place hands on the hip

• puff out and up that chest one more time

And boom. Instant confidence boost - this has been proven to mobilize the body and boost positive thinking/creativity/energy flow. Plus it’s easy, free, and takes 5 seconds to do.

Last but not least: how to feel your emotions

Fun fact - it takes 90 seconds for your body to fully process an emotion.

SCARY FACT: if you interrupt that 90 second cycle by distracting yourself, forcing yourself to “move on” or anything besides allowing yourself to feel it - your body never finishes fully processing it and you’re doomed to repeat that cycle over and over again until you acknowledge it.

Now you may be wondering, “ok I don’t want to be DOOMED!!! how do I feel my emotions?”

Check out this week’s podcast episode for full details on what we never learned about regulating our emotions, feeling our emotions, and how to do so but it starts like this:

• Ask yourself, where in my body am I feeling this? You’ll start to notice you actually do feel different emotions in different places. Sometimes it’s tightness in your chest, or a pit in your stomach. Other times it’s in your throat or your head.

• Now allow yourself to sit with this - does it move anywhere? Bring up any other emotions? How does it evolve?

In the middle of a procedure or conversation I know we can’t pause for the full 90 seconds, so wait until you’re able to take a second and in the mean time give some of the other tricks I mentioned up above a try!

Now time for Buzzy Bites, the small talk news stories of the week for you to share with patients & coworkers - you’ll be able to talk to anyone about anything!

BUZZY BITES:

1. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the Olympics!!: Millenial and GenZ favorite makeup brand, Glossier, is partnering as the first ever beauty partner for the US Women’s Basketball team - more details on this dynamic combo and what to expect here.

   

   Source: Glossier

2. Girlbossing the right amount to the sun: The most decorated woman in Olympic Track and Fieldhistory, Allyson Felix, is making moves by launching the first ever nursery in the Olympic village! Read more about how she is advocating for mothers in sports and inspiring women to know that their careers can thrive and coincide with motherhood.

   

   Source: NBC

3. Less money mo’ problems: Costco raises it’s membership prices for the first time in 7 years - going from $60 per month to $65 or $120 to $130 per month for executive memberships. Luckily for us, hot dog prices are not changing and staying at $1.50 for a hot dog drink combo, find out more about the price changes here.

   

Message me if this post resonated with you! That’s all for this week’s newsletter, tune into next week’s for more fun! Reply if you are dental, pharmacy, medical or anything else! Would love to hear from you!!

Thanks for reading - if you liked what you read please share this with a friend! See you next week,

xoxo, Connie