THE STORY:

Gloria’s Gourmet Bagels, last Saturday 10am

“I’m TELLING YOU, that is your secret weapon” - I blurted out with a mouth full of cream cheese. Aren’t you glad I used the above photo of sandwiches instead of that visual?

This past weekend I was on Long Island for a wedding and got coffee with Mckenzie, one of my best friends from college & pharmacy school.

We were both sipping on iced coffees, laughing about life over bagel sandwiches - I swear we could be like an ad for Panera Bread or something.

Mckenzie was telling me a story about how she approached a group of people at a recent event when I suddenly felt the urge to stop and acknowledge something very important. As I mentioned last newsletter, a VIT (very important thing).

You see, I realized with our 10+ years of friendship that I’ve gotten a front row seat witnessing one of the most important skills you can have in life, and that is:

The art of making someone feel special.

In college when we went out to the bars (think: tribal print crop tops, choker necklaces, super ripped denim shorts era) - Mckenzie was that friend that would go up to ANYONE at the bar, even if we only saw them once or twice in class and barely knew their names.

She always found a way to walk up to someone, casually strike up a conversation as if they had been friends forever, and by the time we left the bars she would have 10 new best friends. The next morning you would hear people shout out to her in the hallways and stop by our table at lunch.

I always admired her ability to go up to anyone, but it wasn’t until more recently that I realized her superpower wasn’t just in her ability to initiate conversation alone - but to spark it, make them feel like the most special person in the room, and most important of all:

the other person would let their guard down, open up, and next time feel comfortable enough to initiate on their own. She was empowering them to act.

Now you may be thinking, why does this matter? I thought this was a newsletter to learn communication tips and stay up to date on if Mercury is in retrograde or not (*at authors current time of writing, it is not).

Here’s the thing - you need to make your patients feel like they’re the most special person in the room, they need to feel like they can let their guard down and open up to you.

Because in a world where misinformation is everywhere on the internet and the instinct is to just search on Google - building trust and loyalty with your patients is the most important thing you can do to help keep them healthy. There is nothing that can replace consulting a human being, especially in times you are frustrated, in pain, or suffering - there’s a reason why when you’re on hold on the phone, the first thing you want to do is ask for a representative to talk something out.

Now I know what you may be thinking - you’re either born as someone with this extraverted personality or you’re not. But to be honest, I wasn’t someone born like that either.

But over the years I’ve worked this muscle at networking events, with social media platforms, and with my podcast - I promise you, this is a skill you can develop too. And if you’re a naturally extraverted person too, I promise these are some tangible tips that you’ll find helpful to harness your already existing skills. So let’s begin:

2 of my favorite ways to help patients feel special and cared for:

1. The 4 words everyone wants to hear: “I Thought Of You” (*honorable mention: “You Won The Lottery” & “The Pizza Is Here”)

   • “I thought of you when I saw this”, “I thought of you this weekend”

   • Think about the last time someone said that to you. Your ears instantly perked up, you were locked into whatever they were saying, and you probably felt pretty special.

   • I make an effort to learn about a patient’s strong feelings towards something, whether it’s a food they love or a movie they hate - and mentally log it. By the next time I see them, I usually have genuinely thought of them at some point, so all I’m really doing is being aware of it and having the courage to mention it.

   • You may think it feels creepy, but I promise it shows you’re listening and you care. Patients don’t want to feel like patient #1843848239532 on your roster, they want to feel like you know them for who they are.

2. If a patient has a name that you think is difficult to pronounce, TRY to pronounce their name, then ask - “did I pronounce your name correctly”?

   • I’ve heard people joke, “if you don’t know how to pronounce a name just say it really fast and hope you said it right”. But to me, that’s not funny or right. 

   • You’re basically telling someone “I don’t care about you enough to get your name right, and I don’t care to know if I’m wrong”. And this all happens in the first 5 seconds of meeting someone!

   • Think about how powerful it is instead, to try your best at pronouncing someones name, and have the vulnerability and intention to ask if you pronounced it how they want.

   • That vulnerability is an important way to show humility, which builds trust 1000x faster than bulldozing through this and “seeming” confident does. This is so often overlooked - check out the facts about this below:

THE DATA:

According to this campaign,

• 73% of people have had their name mispronounced

• 43% felt disrespected by this

• 30% found it upsetting

• 21% said it made them feel like they don’t belong 

  Now think about how much damage you’re doing in the first 5 seconds of meeting a patient - before you’ve even DONE anything! & think about how easy it is to take the 5 seconds to get someones name right to show you care, help them feel respected, and feel like they DO belong. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

NEXT VISIT: (it’s your turn to try!)

1. Practice the muscle of going up to people you’re not as familiar with at parties, social gatherings, etc. It may feel intimidating at first, but with time you’ll gain the skill of sparking and holding a conversation, and you might also learn more about what makes you feel heard and special which in turn you can use as well.

2. Make an effort to get to know patients OUTSIDE of their health concerns, and let them know when you’ve thought about them. I bet you it’s more than you think now that you’re aware of it, so share this phrase with someone and watch the magic happen.

3. Pretty self explanatory but make the effort to pronounce names correctly, and ask if you’re saying something right or wrong. My mentor Dr. Avi (@doctor.avi) spoke on my podcast about how disarming and welcoming it is to ask if you’ve pronounced a name correctly - check out our episode about finding fulfillment, setting boundaries, and what he learned from starting 8 jobs in his first 2 years of working as a dentist here

AND NOW TIME FOR…BUZZY BITES!

These are the fun, light hearted news stories to keep you in the know this week! Make this your small talk and be able to talk to anyone about anything! To hear my fiance, Jimmy, and I break down these stories in our silly little way, check out the podcast episode here.

1. Sofia Vergara launches her newest Colombian coffee line, which supports female coffee growers in Colombia. Jimmy and I want to try, but are we able to separate Sofia from Gloria/Modern Family?

   

    

2. Simone Biles wins RECORD 9th US Women’s Gymnastics Championship, becoming the most decorated female gymnast of all time. She is officially able to compete for a spot on the Olympic 2024 team, more updates to come.

   

3. Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul fight postponed on account of Mike Tyson having a health scare with an ulcer flare up. Jimmy and I discuss if we think we’re supposed to like Jake Paul or not…

   

And that’s all we have for this week’s newsletter! Message me what your thoughts are on Jake Paul lol - let me know if you have any requests for specific buzzy bites stories you want us to report on! If you enjoyed reading this, please send this newsletter to a friend that you think would love it too! Also check out my podcast, Just A Quick Pinch available wherever you listen to podcasts.

xoxo until next week!!

Connie <3